1. To all my friends who have boyfriends or girlfriends and have stopped hanging out or talking to me.. FUCK OFF. That's really annoying.
2. I talked to my good friend Andy today. He made my year by telling me the old roommate Shannon I had, got knocked up. I do feel bad for that kid though.
3. Plans are in the making for yet another move. Probably back to Colorado. This time with a little planning and this time with a roommate.
4. My job is going very well.
5. I'm getting a gym membership next week at Planet Fitness. I'm totally stoked on that.
I'm sick of being bored.. I think I'll stick around here for about a year. Just cause rent is cheap and it will give me a chance to save up to take off again.
Last night was awesome.. I'm glad Chaddy,Brian, and Dustin came down from Maine.. I'm glad Adam, Ashley and Billdoser came up from Mass.. I'm very happy Sarah and Mark came ALL the way from Nashua haha Today I was not very happy.. not at all.. almost in a depressed state.. didnt really talk to anyone sat in my room with the door closed.. watched endless episodes of Greys Anatomy.. I did go to Hannaford... It was wicked nice out.. wish I could have done something other than nothing.
Talked to Danny.. I miss him.. I'm glad he called.. Thats the only good thing about today.. Maybe tomorrow will be better Probably not I want to move again
Not much to report.. hanging out went to see Beerfest with Nate and Jamie last night.. pretty funny I must say... Headed to VT next week for my brothers b-day!! I saw this years ago and decided to find it again so here.. this should put a smile on your face..
So while talking to a friend today he asks the dreaded question.. "So why dont you have a man?" and at first I thought I had no answer for that.. but it came to me. I dont have one because I dont want one. I have a few boys who say they like me... a few who confuse me by saying random things to me.. I have ones who like me but dont really know me... Ones that I've liked but who live across country now.. Ones that I think I like but I know dont like me like that.. but none that I like 100ot one I could see myself being totally happy with.. So the answer to his question simply was I dont trust myself to be with just one person, because I know if I was with any of these people I'd always be looking for something else, something more. Then he asked "What is it you're looking for" and that again a question I dont like being asked but answered. I have no idea what I want or what would make me happy.. maybe this means I'm doomed to be alone for the rest of my life... or maybe someday I'll meet that one person who makes me feel that feeling I hear so much about the one that you cant explain.. the one that gives you butterflies every time he looks at you.. maybe someday I'll find that guy. Or maybe this is just a phase I'm going through.. my mind is a wreck after all.
I'm not good with words and sometimes I wish I was.. I wish I could explain this more but I think this is the best I can do.
Life has been good.. still looking for a job, well kinda I've spent the past week in Northampton Mass. Hung out with Wendy and Strauss most of the time.. David came up for a little bit thanks David! Went to Moe's had a blast there.. Stayed one night in VT at my dads.. my niece who is one crawled over to me and touched to tops of my feet and said "tatteew" I could have died.. I'm in Maine right now at Wendy's Mom's.. every time I come to Raymond or Poland it makes me a little sad, it makes me wish I was 13-17 again.. it makes me want to grow young not old.We walked around the property she has an apple tree now, grapes growing everywhere like CRAZY there are grapes like 20 feet in the air its amazing, a huge raspberry bush that we couldnt keep our hands out of haha an awesome pond which makes me want to get my pond going out front and put some koi in it.. Tonight I think we're headed into Lewiston to see some old friends. Tomorrow I think its girls night out in the Old Port.. I miss Portland so much!! I'm headed back to Londonderry Sat.. you people should come and visit me. Loren!
I want to start a veggie garden.. but I cant seem to keep this Tomato plant alive.. its probably cause it needs a lot of sunlight and its been raining for a month now.. ugh!
My weekend was pretty fun fun...Hung out with Ambah and Adam.. went hiking.. it looked like this on the way down...
Hung out with Ashley Lam after that went to see Rip Rorin... then harassed a raccoon for a bit.. then a skunk harassed us...
Went to the Mahers house after that.. dropped off some stuff for Will.. hung out with Zakk for a bit.. headed out
Hung out with Alana shared ink stories.. went down the the park.. harassed some mega church people.. its scary how cult like they are.. One of em said that we were going to hell for eternity and eternity is a loooong time.. friggin freaks
I want to go to Maine again soon but I think its going to have to wait a few weeks.. I'm pretty sure its Boston next weekend Maine weekend after that!
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dethbeforetears's journal
sick
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